DEEP THOUGHTS

Dad forwarded this to me. Enjoy!

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.
*****
I had amnesia once --
or twice.
*****
Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
*****
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
***
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses
sidesaddle.
*****
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
*****
They told me I was gullible
and I believed them.
*****
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home,
and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the
freeway.
******
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone
*****
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
*****
My weight is perfect for my height --
which varies
*****
I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
*****
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
*****
How can there be self-help "groups"?
*****
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
*****
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.
*****
Is it me--or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~Lindsey